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I want to take you far from the cynics in this town And kiss you on the mouth We'll cut our bodies free from the tethers of this scene, Start a brand new colony Where everything will change, We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased) The sun will heat the grounds Under our bare feet in this brand new colony Everything will change.
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March 28th, 2007 at 12:01pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

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December 13th, 2006 at 12:57pm]
hey everybody, i've been in this community for a long time and never really posted anything well anywayz lately i'm bored with my music and i'm looking for new stuff or someth mixes, if anybody knows songs related to love, hate, anger, happy, being along, relationships, etc.. i'd appreciate it alot! i like just about anything so give me whatever you got so i can start making a cd. thanks in advance!
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September 30th, 2006 at 2:04am]
[ mood | productive ]

so me and my boyfriend have been going through a rough time lately cuz he screwed up at the begining of our relationship and i can't go on cuz i keep remembering the past and i realized that i shouldn't be stuck in the past and i decided to write about how i feel and i guess it's my quote so here it is and i'd like to know what ya'll think about it.

i've been hurt too many times by stupid boysi used to care for but those boys were just fakes, so i moved on from that pain cuz it wasn't worth my time..but when you have that special person finally come into your life and have them hurt you in a way you think you can never be able to forget it's hard because you think of that person as "the one", he means the whole world to you, you would give your life for him. it's not like you can just forget what they have done the next day and go on like nothing happend. just to think you gave them your heart and trust and they betrayed you. you don't if to whether give your trust back and risk your heart all over again or to just try not to care? but in my case i'm giving it another chance, cuz i start to picture my life without them and truth is that i would have no life and it's not worth living if they aren't in it. i'll just have to try to get over the pain he made me go through as time goes by cuz being stuck in the past is not worth being depressed or crying over every night, doing all that would just make you miserable to not even have a life, just think to yourself that you'll get through it and be happy he's with you and he's yours to keep for the rest of your life and look forward to what god has in store for the both of ya'll.

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November 22nd, 2005 at 2:16am]
[ mood | ditzy ]

well i had a shitty bday but i got almost everything i wanted so it was ok but still shitty, gr! i just wanted andrew to ask me out i was hoping for a bf for my bday but didnt get it but no hes not ready yet. i hate this i hate my life. maybe im just not pretty enough or perfect enough for him. so far thats been the problem with all the guys in my past, i know cuz thats wat theyve told me. i shuold be used to it by now and not get so disappointed when they tell me that. amywayz he never make up his damn mind and loves playin hard to get, atleast it seems like it, well know what? 2 can play that game!!!! ima try start playin along now, grr. andrew says he dont know what he wants and said wed be better off friends cuz he just wants to work and stuff or whatever. it hurt cuz all he does the whole time is just lead me on. i need to stop getting with guys that all they do is hurt me. they use me and like they trhow me away or something. i dont want to give up on him but if he dont figure out what he wants soon im gonna give up even though i dont want to cuz i really like him theres just something about him that when i talk to him and hang out with him it lights me up and gives me butterflies. out of all the guys i've liked in my life and dated i've never gotten butterflies with a guy and he's the first. thats why i dont want to give up but i dont want to get hurt either or get my hopes up so much. hopefully things will turn around for me soon.....anywayz heres pics..my pretty pics, hee heeCollapse )

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November 18th, 2005 at 1:59am]
[ mood | depressed ]

oh yay happy bday to me! i'm finally 20...
my bday is gonna so friggin shitty this year!
well remember that guy andrew i told you about on the entry below had stopped talkin to me since like the day before halloween and all sudden he texts me sayin he wants to hang out. im like wtf i try to forget about him cuz the last time we hung out we did it at the beach and then he stopped talkin to me. i was pissed and hurt. he just got what he wanted and left. i dont get it guys leave after they get what they want or cuz i dont give it to them. not that ive been with alot of guys or anything but its been the same guys all the times. i hate this cuz i thot this andrew guy was different from the others. i dont know why he wants to hang out all of a sudden though. i invited him to my bday party but he said he's "sick" and cant come. i was hoping he would but no he's not. oh well hopefully i have fun with my friends.
i hope it's not my last though. anywayz, night my loves.

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August 31st, 2005 at 1:52am]
[ mood | blah ]

well hot damn! i haven't been on LJ in soooo friggin long!!! anybody miss me?!?!?!? lol well sorry i haven't on in foreverz but i just been busy all summer hangin out with my best friends and gettin ready for school and shit but i'm back now!!

well i started school monday and omfgzz it's gonna be a busy semester..i'm taking 5 classes which is 15 hours and thats shit loads. i'm taking english comp lit 1, intro to film (fun class), math (ugh hate it!!!), and psychology (omgz i can so tell i'm so not gon like my teacher in that class and i gotta take that class cuz its required for my major), and i got kickboxing for gym class..i got that once a week to get all my stress out from the week lol i hope its fun i start friday, whoop!

i met a great guy couple days ago and he is so friggin sweet and adorable!!!! he tells me he likes me and wants to hang out and stuff. hes really cute!!!!!!!!! some odd reason i like him too and i barely know him. his name is andrew. i dont know his last name though. i hope we get to hang out soon and hope things go great with this guy. and if they do i hope he dont hurt me and turns out to be a jerk like the other assholes i've dated.

omgz its 2 am and i got class at 9:30 and im still barely tired grrr i need to go lay down and wwatch a movie to atleast start to fall asleep or something. anywayz, i promise i'll update tomorrow and update alot more bout this one guy...

any of ya'll have myspace? well i do! here's my link so add me if you'd like http://www.myspace.com/pretty_romance , just leave me a message telling me your from LJ..night loves!

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June 22nd, 2005 at 6:28am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

hey ya'll sorry i haven't updated in a few days. my laptop has been gay and won't load anything but i shall be getting a new laptop today. right now i'm on my desktop comp and i put dsl on it. it's like 6:30 am and i can't really sleep so i decided to update a bit before i went to lay down and went to bed. this past weekend and week has been okay. i think i updated about what happend with daniel on saturday night so i'll just skip that, lol.

since monday i've been going to the therapist again and it's been helping me a bit. it feels good to let out some of the stuff i've been holding inside for so long. i go back monday afternoon so who knows if i'll have much to talk bout cuz nothing has happend since yesterday really.

july 3rd i will be leaving to colorado with stephanie. her mom isn't going to drive up there with her and she doesn't want to drive alone up there since it's such a long drive so we both planned out that i'll go with her and i'll prolly help her drive and i'll stay down there for about a week. that's gonna be so much fun! road trip baby! hee hee. i'm gonna either be flying back or driving back with her mom and her sister sarah. so either way it's cool with me though.

i don't know what else to talk bout so i stole this survey from somebody, lol. here it is...

Name 20 people you know.

1. stephanie w.
2. stephanie p.
3. daniel
4. david
5. lee
6. kyle
7. katy
8. heather
9. steve
13. nathan
14. kelly
15. nicole
16. jacob
17. matt
18. josh
19. trevor
20. ryan

Who is #8 going out with?: some dude i forgot his name lol
Is #9 a boy or a girl?: Boy!
Would #11 and #12 date?: lmao no
How about #18 and #4?: um no lol
What grade is #17 in?: graduated already ;)
When was the last time you talked to #12?: last night
What is #6's favorite band?: um, i dunno. he has lots of fave bands lol
Does #1 have any siblings?: yeah, 3 sisters and 1 brother
Would you ever date #3?: yeah, but were friends with benefits lol
Would you ever date #7?: lol no, i'm not a lesbian

Is #16 single?: he is now lol
What's #15's last name?: banker
What's #10's middle name?: david
What's #5's favorite thing to do?: go to concerts and party
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?: hmm, now that i think bout; they so would!
What school does #20 go to?: does college count? lol
Tell me a random fact about #11?: he's a psycho
And #1: one of my bestest friends ever!
And #3: were friends with benefits and he's a good fuck! lol HEY I GOTTA TELL THE TRUTH! LOL
Have you ever had a crush on #15?: eh, no! lol she's hot though lol
What's #4's favorite color?: blue
Would you makeout with #14?: eh, why not?! lol
Are #5 & #6 best friends?: yep!
Does #8 like #19?: only as friends
How did you meet #2?: back in high school
How did you meet #18?: i've known him since i was in jr. high or prolly even before that lol
Does #10 have any pets?: yes
Is #12 older than you?: nope

well i'm off to bed! night guys!

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June 12th, 2005 at 1:36am]
[ mood | stressed ]

i have a major head ache that won't go away and i've had allergies all day and i think it's slowly killing me. :o( ugh, i want starbucks bad! anywayz i'm soo tired cuz i've barely gotten any sleep this past week so i think i'm going to go to sleep early today, hopefully nothing will come up while i sleep, lol. i'll update later or something.

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June 10th, 2005 at 2:57am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

so yesterday was fun. steph and me went to barnes & noble to read magazines and drink starbucks and that was fun. we were diggin' for hayden pics and shit lol. steve called me while i was there and asked what i was doing later on that night and i was like um dunno? and he was like your doing me! i was like i am? and he started to laugh but that was funny. well after barnes & noble steph and me went to best buy and she got the first season of jump street with johnny depp, she's in love with him as well. lol..i dropped her off home and i rested for a bit at home and steve picked me up around 1:30 and we went back to his place. we watched some tv and yah stuff happend lol. it was great! lol steve is soooooo hot though, ah! lol anywayz he dropped me back home around like 3 something, i think it was almost 4 am or whatever but yah my mom was bitchin cuz she said if i wanna be out late i gotta get another job where i work everyday and not one that i work only when they call me to go in and that i gotta clean up my room and help out around the house and shit. but yah that's so friggin gay.

steph came over today and we watched the mtv movie awards and we were desperately waiting for them to show something on hayden christensen but WE HAD NO LUCK :o( *sniffles*. she like even asked to go into work late just cuz we thought hayden would be there but nooo mtv was gay! lol. tomorrow she's calling into work so we can go see mr. & mrs. smith cuz brad pitt is so effin hot! hee hee. who knows what i'll do tomorrow night, maybe i'll call jenny and some people to come over or whatever. steph is gonna be with her ex so yah lol. maybe i should just stay home and watch hayden christensen movies with my cousin. hmm? i dunno but who knows what i'll be doing. well i'm starting to get a bit tired and my back is killing me so i guess i'll just go lay down and watch mean girls and fall asleep. i'll update tomorrow or whatever. nighty night!

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June 8th, 2005 at 5:50am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

sorry i haven't updated in a couple of days. well not much has happend, he keeps hurting me and i guess it really is time to move on for good this time. that's all i have to say about that situation cuz i really don't wanna talk about him right now.

i woke up around 3 pm today and i could not wake up, i like couldn't open my eyes at all! so i decided to go to walgreens and get like all these energy drinks to wake up and i went to work out for like 2 hours almost then i came home and i was still friggin wired as hell! so i decided to mow the lawn, yeah that was fun! (sarcasm) lol. after that i was still friggin hyper and energized so bad. i have never had so much energy every in my life, usually when i drink energy drinks they do nothing to me. but this time i dunno what happend, like they wired me up really bad. well since i was still energized like the energizer bunny, lol, i decided to take the desk outta my bedroom and clean up a bit. then i decided to go running at the park and i ran 4 miles and i was still hyper. so i came back and went to the gym to do my favorite machine the precor, i was on it for 45 minutes. i came home and my mom was barely pulling into the drive way and i told her i wanted starbucks so we went to get some and went to walgreens to buy some starbucks bottles and redbull and her medication she had to pick up. she asked me if i wanted to go to the gym and i said okay! lol i was still full with energy. i told her i had been practically working out all day and she said i was like killing myself or some shit like that. i started to feel a bit sick cuz i hadn't eaten all day and we went to get arby's but i didn't even eat my food to later on. we got home and she changed and we went to the gym and i was on the precor for an hour, lol. god i swear all this working out better like pay off, i'm sure i will though. lately i feel really good about myself and i love working out so much now. but my eating is very poor. sometimes i go days where i dont eat or i just eat and still throw up. my mom doesn't know i still do this but i know she's watching but and she thinks i don't know but i do. i'm trying to eat a little everyday atleast something that's healthy. i know what i do is wrong but i just hate to gain all the weight i lost back. i've worked so hard on this and i'm gonna keep working at it but i am promising myself that i will start to eat a bit more everyday, but only healthy foods. i plan on taking a little nap and going to work out at 9 or 10.

i'm spossed to go to ashley's house around noon or 1 but i had forgotten that i have a doctors appointment to get my band tightened again. i guess i can go to her house after that i suppose. who knows though. stephanie wants to go see the fantastic four today and she might go with me to get another tattoo. she has the next 2 days off so thats effin awesome. were so excited about the mtv movie awards lol, were such losers! lol. anywayz, yah steph and me have been spending alot of time together lately and that's so cool cuz i've missed her so much. the same goes for her sister jennifer, even though she changed and became so religious with god and all i still love her the same as steph. they are both such awesome friends. steph is leaving to go to bible college with jennifer up in colorado and i might be going with them along with kelly. omg i miss kelly so much, i haven't seen her in forever and hopefully tomorrow she'll come with us to the movies. i know most of ya'll don't know what the hell i'm talking about but oh well, i don't care. it's my journal i rant about what i want, lol.

i am so friggin obsessed with death cab for cutie-photobooth and damien rice-lonelily, i love those songs. if ya'll haven't heard them you should mos. def. download them! especially lonelily. i'm gonna buy like so many songs on iTUNES for my iPOD later today.

i'm finally starting to feel better about this whole break up and i'm starting to move on. hanging out with all my old friends and going out late at night like i used to has helped me alot. especially for my friends being there for me during this rough time, i thank them alot. i would type down all the names but there's too many so yah whatever, lol. i know as time goes by i'll get better and better and i'll find somebody new that deserves me and somebody that is so much better and will treat me the way i am spossed to be treated. i knew andy treated me like shit but i never realized how much he really put me down on things and how he was ruining my life. i guess god plans for this to happen to me to learn about things and to not trust people so easily. i'll just have to wait and see what he has in the future for me, only he knows what's best for me. whatever happens is meant to be for a reason.

i am going to start going to church with some friends now. i don't know why but i really think i need this. i'm not gonna have like a sudden change or something but i just feel like if i do this it will help me alot more in my life. i will feel better about myself. i'm not going to be going to the same churches cuz not all my friends go to the same ones so i guess i can take turns or something.

my job sux and they haven't called me in this week to go sub, i want to go work at joe's crab shack and be a hostess or at some other place. i really need to find myself another job to give me something to do during the day. all i basically do is work out or sleep during the day. but most of all work out all the time now. sometimes i can't do things with my friends cuz their either working or at school for the summer cuz they want to get classes outta the way. i was spossed to go to summer school but i decided not to. i figured that with all i went through i didn't need to have my mind worried about tests and shit. but oh well..well nothing else happend today so yah.

it's like 9 minutes to 6 am and i'm still up. i spent most of the night at waffle house with stephanie, she works there so yah she was bored. we went to walmart on her break to get some magazines to see if hayden christensen was on any of them, lol. omg, this is like so friggin ridiculous. she's 21 and i'm 19 and were both acting like high school teeny boppers! lol..were so friggin obsessed with hayden, he's just so fuckin beautiful! god he's gorgeous! anywayz, we bought some magazines and went back to waffle house and looked at magazines and talked a bit. i left round 4:45 am and i got home round almost 5 am. i chatted online with ross for a bit and then he had to go cuz he was falling asleep. ugh, stupid boy. gr him! lol that boy is such a sweetheart! he's like the second sweetest guy i have ever met in my life. anywayz, i'm starting to actually get tired now so i think i'm gonna put on BE COOL and prolly fall asleep. i'll update later today or tonight or whatever. hope everybody had a good night and have a good day lol. goodnight for me everybody.

p.s. TWINKLE TWINKLE BABY, lmao. that's from BE COOL.


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