sorry i haven't updated in a couple of days. well not much has happend, he keeps hurting me and i guess it really is time to move on for good this time. that's all i have to say about that situation cuz i really don't wanna talk about him right now.
i woke up around 3 pm today and i could not wake up, i like couldn't open my eyes at all! so i decided to go to walgreens and get like all these energy drinks to wake up and i went to work out for like 2 hours almost then i came home and i was still friggin wired as hell! so i decided to mow the lawn, yeah that was fun! (sarcasm) lol. after that i was still friggin hyper and energized so bad. i have never had so much energy every in my life, usually when i drink energy drinks they do nothing to me. but this time i dunno what happend, like they wired me up really bad. well since i was still energized like the energizer bunny, lol, i decided to take the desk outta my bedroom and clean up a bit. then i decided to go running at the park and i ran 4 miles and i was still hyper. so i came back and went to the gym to do my favorite machine the precor, i was on it for 45 minutes. i came home and my mom was barely pulling into the drive way and i told her i wanted starbucks so we went to get some and went to walgreens to buy some starbucks bottles and redbull and her medication she had to pick up. she asked me if i wanted to go to the gym and i said okay! lol i was still full with energy. i told her i had been practically working out all day and she said i was like killing myself or some shit like that. i started to feel a bit sick cuz i hadn't eaten all day and we went to get arby's but i didn't even eat my food to later on. we got home and she changed and we went to the gym and i was on the precor for an hour, lol. god i swear all this working out better like pay off, i'm sure i will though. lately i feel really good about myself and i love working out so much now. but my eating is very poor. sometimes i go days where i dont eat or i just eat and still throw up. my mom doesn't know i still do this but i know she's watching but and she thinks i don't know but i do. i'm trying to eat a little everyday atleast something that's healthy. i know what i do is wrong but i just hate to gain all the weight i lost back. i've worked so hard on this and i'm gonna keep working at it but i am promising myself that i will start to eat a bit more everyday, but only healthy foods. i plan on taking a little nap and going to work out at 9 or 10.
i'm spossed to go to ashley's house around noon or 1 but i had forgotten that i have a doctors appointment to get my band tightened again. i guess i can go to her house after that i suppose. who knows though. stephanie wants to go see the fantastic four today and she might go with me to get another tattoo. she has the next 2 days off so thats effin awesome. were so excited about the mtv movie awards lol, were such losers! lol. anywayz, yah steph and me have been spending alot of time together lately and that's so cool cuz i've missed her so much. the same goes for her sister jennifer, even though she changed and became so religious with god and all i still love her the same as steph. they are both such awesome friends. steph is leaving to go to bible college with jennifer up in colorado and i might be going with them along with kelly. omg i miss kelly so much, i haven't seen her in forever and hopefully tomorrow she'll come with us to the movies. i know most of ya'll don't know what the hell i'm talking about but oh well, i don't care. it's my journal i rant about what i want, lol.
i am so friggin obsessed with death cab for cutie-photobooth and damien rice-lonelily, i love those songs. if ya'll haven't heard them you should mos. def. download them! especially lonelily. i'm gonna buy like so many songs on iTUNES for my iPOD later today.
i'm finally starting to feel better about this whole break up and i'm starting to move on. hanging out with all my old friends and going out late at night like i used to has helped me alot. especially for my friends being there for me during this rough time, i thank them alot. i would type down all the names but there's too many so yah whatever, lol. i know as time goes by i'll get better and better and i'll find somebody new that deserves me and somebody that is so much better and will treat me the way i am spossed to be treated. i knew andy treated me like shit but i never realized how much he really put me down on things and how he was ruining my life. i guess god plans for this to happen to me to learn about things and to not trust people so easily. i'll just have to wait and see what he has in the future for me, only he knows what's best for me. whatever happens is meant to be for a reason.
i am going to start going to church with some friends now. i don't know why but i really think i need this. i'm not gonna have like a sudden change or something but i just feel like if i do this it will help me alot more in my life. i will feel better about myself. i'm not going to be going to the same churches cuz not all my friends go to the same ones so i guess i can take turns or something.
my job sux and they haven't called me in this week to go sub, i want to go work at joe's crab shack and be a hostess or at some other place. i really need to find myself another job to give me something to do during the day. all i basically do is work out or sleep during the day. but most of all work out all the time now. sometimes i can't do things with my friends cuz their either working or at school for the summer cuz they want to get classes outta the way. i was spossed to go to summer school but i decided not to. i figured that with all i went through i didn't need to have my mind worried about tests and shit. but oh well..well nothing else happend today so yah.
it's like 9 minutes to 6 am and i'm still up. i spent most of the night at waffle house with stephanie, she works there so yah she was bored. we went to walmart on her break to get some magazines to see if hayden christensen was on any of them, lol. omg, this is like so friggin ridiculous. she's 21 and i'm 19 and were both acting like high school teeny boppers! lol..were so friggin obsessed with hayden, he's just so fuckin beautiful! god he's gorgeous! anywayz, we bought some magazines and went back to waffle house and looked at magazines and talked a bit. i left round 4:45 am and i got home round almost 5 am. i chatted online with ross for a bit and then he had to go cuz he was falling asleep. ugh, stupid boy. gr him! lol that boy is such a sweetheart! he's like the second sweetest guy i have ever met in my life. anywayz, i'm starting to actually get tired now so i think i'm gonna put on BE COOL and prolly fall asleep. i'll update later today or tonight or whatever. hope everybody had a good night and have a good day lol. goodnight for me everybody.
p.s. TWINKLE TWINKLE BABY, lmao. that's from BE COOL.